Today was a very important day of my life as I was baptized. It was an honor to have my loving parents and so many of my closest friends there to bear witness to this outward proclamation of faith. I wish all of you could have been there also to see and hear my experience. I've included here my testimony, which i have written within the context of my baptism, for you to read.

I don't believe that baptism is something that God requires for salvation. Yet, I do acknowledge that it is a powerful experience and event in any christian's life because it has the power to proclaim out loud to the whole world that one is committing his/her life to Christ. Although I believe I have committed my life to Jesus before, I have been mainly introverted in my decision. In other words, my prayers and thoughts were kept between me and God only. Today, as I was baptized, I revealed my inner self out loud so that everyone could hear and understand openly what my intentions were To serve Christ with all of my heart and become more and more like him. Today, I was made a new creation in Christ.

I want to thank all of you who have been praying for this event to happen. Some of you have been there for me from the very beginning, from those days when I couldn't even imagine going to church, much less being baptized. I feel I should share with all of you my testimony so you may see how God has moved in my life.

I was born in India back in 1980. Consider that as I tell the rest of my testimony so that you will realize just how fortunate I was to be "selected" by God to have the opportunity for salvation. In India, at least where I lived, there was not any evangelism of any sort at the time. Perhaps things have changed a little but even when I visited my hometown a few years back, I still did not sense a dramatic change in the religious atmosphere. You are born into your religion. It becomes a part of you and is ingrained into your culture so that you really have no choice but to go along with it. This scenario can be seen in all religions on this earth where children are brought up with a certain background or history and are expected to follow it, regardless of whether or not they are truly developing a relationship with God. It's sometimes just the way things are. I was born into the Sikh faith. By no means is it a bad religion. It was founded in the 1600s as Hindus and Muslims were fighting against each other. Sikhism seeked to resolve this conflict and present a middle ground and compromise for the horrible atrocities taking place. Many Sikhs gave their lives in standing up for what they believed in. There were 10 generations of great gurus who led the Sikhs and gave them the principles by which to abide by. Like many other religions, these principles are founded on wonderful moral foundations of excellence. They stress the ideals of doing good and following God with all of your heart and serving other people with God's love. There were also many traditions associated with it. One of the most distinguishing things is the tradition of keeping all of your hair. This means no shaving or cutting your hair, ever! If you've ever seen men with turbans and a full beard on their face, you know that they are most likely Sikh. The women are of course harder to recognize because you really don't discriminate the length of hair on a female since its supposed to be long anyways. While I was in India growing up, I was growing all of my hair. If I had stayed there, I bet I would still have all of it and would be completely ingrained into the Sikh religion without any means to find Christ.

However, when I was 5 years old, I moved to Tucson, Arizona with my mom because my dad had work here as a computer engineer. What blows my mind away is just the fact that I had the opportunity to come to America whereas millions of Indians could only dreamt of coming here; for most, it was nothing more than wishful thinking. As soon as I moved here, my dad had my hair cut because he thought it would help me fit in better with the american kids. When I think about those intentions, I don't agree with them. If I had a kid, I would present him just as he was without making him live up to other standards. But, I'm not complaining. Because I had my hair cut, I was in a sense excused from most important tradition in the SIkh religion and this set me apart. I guess you could liken it to a Christian who does things only half way. For instance, imagine a Christian who goes to church as their weekly dose of God, and then goes back out into the world to be shaped by it rather than by God. The mainpoint I'm trying to make is that breaking a major tradition in my Sikh religion at the time didn't hold me liable to be as strict a Sikh as others. I think this was incredibly important in my journey to salvation.

As a child growing up in America, my Sikh faith consisted solely of the Sunday gathering at church. I didn't always want to go because it was really long and boring. About 95% of a service is just music alone and then the other 5% is reading from the holy book. I didn't enjoy either because I didn't understand most of the words. However, I admit that sometimes I did have a good feeling of godliness inside of me as I worshipped. It went on like this throughout elementary school and through the beginning of my middle school years. Right around then, I was also really getting into it. I had just revisited India for the second time and I was feeling "spiritual" and in tune with my religion. I think for a few months in 7th grade, I really did worship the prophets of the Sikh religion with all my heart. I idolized them. Something happened, however, that changed what I would think of God forever.

Sometimes God doesn't always deal with us directly. In other words, He doesn't just do something purely as a matter of fact. Although He could snap his fingers to make things happen very robotically, He chooses rather to make things happen by circumstances that produce change in people. In the February of 7th grade, I experienced one of those life changing events that at the time would have never seemed that eternally significant at all. My friend and I were riding our bicycles down a dangerously steep hill. We thought that if we just kept our balance and timed things right, we would be okay and we would have a thrill. Unfortunately, a miscommunication must have occured and I ended up running into his bicycle which thrust me off my bike into the air. Time slowed down and it felt like I must have been flying for a few minutes and then I landed hard on my leg and broke it severely in two places. Thank goodness it was only a broken leg; I had not been wearing a helmet and just a slightly different impact angle could have flipped me and caused me to land on my head. Although it was painful at the time, I eventually healed but I wanted to get back into shape so that I could once again play basketball for my team. It was very convenient that my friend had a really nice little workout facility in his house, so I ended up going there quite often on certain mornings to lift and to strengthen myself. I went in there thinking that this would heal me physically and prepare me for the next basketball season. Little did I know that this event would in fact heal me spiritually.

My friend was christian and so was his whole family. His dad was a physical therapist and he helped me a lot in getting myself back into shape after the broken leg. I remember that my friend started witnessing to me around that time. Remember that I was feeling like a pretty strong Sikh at that point so I totally rejected anything he had to say and mocked his words. How could there be only one way to God? How could I go to Hell? How could my religion that I had known for all my life be wrong? I like to think of myself as a logical thinker. I don't accept things just like that. I dont believe people on the spot. I want some reasoning and evidence behind things. My friend continued to witness to me and I did something that I had never really done before. I began to pray to the unknown. That's right, you heard me. Before, I had prayed to certain prophets that were instrumental in setting up the Sikh religion or to the Lord. But, I had never said, " If you are out there, whoever you are, show me who you are. What are you?" I believe those were very close to my exact words. I was praying to no one and yet at the same time, to someone. I truly believe that God heard those words and took action to answer my prayer.

Initially in considering the differences between the Sikh religion and Christianity, I found none. Both religions emphasize doing good things that are pleasing to God. As I pondered deeper, however, I went beyond just the teachings and the principles and looked at the claims. That was all I needed to believe that Christ was in fact the living God who died on the cross for my sins. Jesus' claim was that he was the Son of God. At first, I thought that was pure blasphemy. But at the same time, I recognized this as the discriminating difference between Christianity and really any other religion.

This was a totally radical claim that was different than anything I had ever heard of. I realized that the religion of Christianity was not what it was all supposed to be about; rather, it was supposed to be about Jesus Christ alone and following Him. This was a major discovery which helped remove all the doubts that I had about churches in general and the corruption that often comes because of the emphasis of religion over a genuine, loving relationship with God. I think once these spiritual blinders were put away, I finally recognized the true state of the human condition. We were far from perfect beings, I thought. We create for ourselves a charming world that will satisfy our hedonistic desires and yet we fail to recognize the moral decline that accompanies our worldly accomplishments. We all fall short of the glory of God. God did not design man for this purpose, to be sinful. Yet, why did He allow us to continue sinning? Why didn't he just make the world a perfect place? This unknown God to whom I was praying was starting to reveal Himself to me more and more. I realized that we were free beings with the freedom of choice to do as we desire. But, this wasn't a ticket to enjoy life for all of its pleasures and purely fulfill our desires. Rather, it was an invitation to realize that although the wages of sin were death, the gift of eternal life was through Jesus Christ. We were sinful beings, I thought, but at the same time God wanted a relationship with us and desired for us to come to Him through our own faith and our own choice so that it would be true committment and not just a robotic act of obedience. He did this by offering His one and only Son. He sent Jesus down to earth in the form of a man in every way except his sinless heart and his Godly nature. He resisted Satan's temptations whereas normal men fell to them over and over. He healed people, he ate with the lowly who were shunned by society, he served other people.

This was God incarnate and yet He chose to serve people? He had all the power available in Him to do anything that He desired and yet he chose to teach, guide, and serve others? He had the power to prevent his death and yet He didn't say a word in defense before his Roman captors? He voluntarily gave up his life to be the sacrifice that would make it possible for all of mankind to cross the bridge across the chasm of sin towards the loving arms of God? It was as clear as day for me that Jesus Christ came down on this earth not as a mere teacher like the prophets in many other religions but as God incarnate. And this is something that he himself claimed. Why then do so many people consider him just a great teacher? He never even claimed to be JUST a teacher but rather the Son of God. I had all the evidence I needed. Now what I needed was forgiveness in my life for all the sins I had committed. I had never murdered anyone, never committed adultery, and never done anything purely bad. However, did I ever harbor bitterness against someone because I was upset? Did I ever look at a woman lustfully? Did I ever have an evil intent? The answer to all of these questions is YES! The root of sin is not in the action but rather in the intention. That is why we all fall short of the glory of God.

Whether or not we do anything physically wrong with our hands, our minds and hearts are inevitably corrupt with our impure thoughts and desires. That's what it means when it is said that man is born into sin. It merely means that people are destined to sin no matter how hard they try not to. Often times, from the outside people can look perfect, but only God knows our hearts and He is the only one that we face on the judgment day. This reminds me, I have not mentioned the idea of Hell as being instrumental in leading me to faith in Christ. Why is this? Because my faith was not founded on the fear of going to Hell. I wasn't pressured into making this decision because some preacher guy told me that I was doomed. Rather, I made the decision to follow Christ on my own because I had experienced God firsthand. I credit my friend in giving me the knowledge and the thoughts that I would think about. However, I credit only God in convicting me of the truth. It was a decision I made on my own.

So here I was with the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and yet I had no idea how to tell my parents about this. I was afraid of telling them and even a little ashamed. I was the only Christian in my entire family. I have a huge extended family and here I had gone off to something totally different that I knew that no one would approve of. With this fear, I hid my faith from my parents for over a year. I would still go to my friend's house to workout, but I added a bible study to that. At school, I joined a christian club that a lot of the basketball players were on so I went one morning a week for breakfast and of course, spiritual food. I attended a christian basketball camp that encouraged me and increased my faith tremendously. I even went to church a few times. All of these things were good EXCEPT for the way that I did them. I told my parents that the workout was just a workout, the breakfast was just a basketball meeting, the camp was just a opportunity to better my skills, and the church was not really church but rather a basketball practice that took place in church. This was plain deception.

What a paradox for me to serve Christ and then turn around and lie. What was even worse was that I was lying about my faith. Why couldn't I proclaim it for the world to hear? Why was I ashamed? I did this kind of stuff for an entire year and to this day I regret it. I had the wrong motives and wrong approach towards things. Maybe I was just scared of my parent's reaction. I would find out what their reaction was just about a year and a half after I was saved.

One night while my family was on vacation in Vancouver, I felt a burden on my heart. I began to cry for no reason at all. This gloomy mood carried on to the next day. I didn't know if I was trying to attract attention or what. That next day, we were seated in a restaurant and my parents asked me what was wrong. I don't know how it went or how I pronounced the words, but I somehow shared with them that I was Christian. What a shock it was to them to suddenly hear something like this. My mom had seen a bible in my room before but she never thought that I was actually Christian. There we were, the three of us, in a restaurant all crying. I was crying because I was thinking I disappointed my parents and I could see the pain in their eyes as they were crying too.

Over the next several months, we would have on and off argument sessions. Sometimes I chose just to conform and pretend that I wasn't Christian just so that they wouldn't be upset with me. Sometimes I chose to be a rebel and stand up for what I believed in. Those first months were the most difficult of my life. What made it worse was that I found myself going mute. I couldn't answer all the theological questions that were thrown at me. I continued going to the Sikh church where I was mocked by some of the religious believers as they shot at me left and right with questions that I had absolutely no answer to. I must have seemed like a child lost in a blind faith. I didn't know what to say. I became shy and mute because I felt so uncomfortable being singled out and argued against by all the other people. I didn't perform well in a 10 to 1 situation. I read Christian books and the Bible in hope that I could be a more effective witness and yet still I struggled. I was all alone. I could not see any christian friends since I wasn't allowed. It was just me and God.

Over the next four years, the situation waned. It became something that was hidden once again in a sense. No one really knew if I was still Christian or if that was just a stage that I had gotten over, including me. I think that on my own I was still Christian but with others, I wasn't. Around the time of 9th and 10th grade, I severely backslid and although I maintained my faith in Christ, I certainly didn't show it in my actions or words. Peter denied Christ 3 times as Scriptures say; I denied him many many more times than that. I was afraid of stating my faith with the fear that my parents would find out.

I recommited my life back to Christ around 11th grade and really corrected some of the ungodly behavior that I had been exhibiting but even after this, it was so difficult to find an avenue by which to worship God. Sometimes a friend would give me some christian cds but I could never return them because they would be gone or I would find them with scratches in them. My bible and religious books were sometimes missing but I eventually found a good way to hide them and thus keep reading. I couldn't go to church and continued attending the Sikh church which was frustrating for me. I tried to turn it into a prayer session where I would pray for all the people in the room to keep myself occupied. I continued to search for some way to worship God but I couldn't find one.

Around the beginning of my senior year in highschool, I turned to the internet for the fellowship and Christian knowledge that I so thirsted for. I already had had a website that received thousands of visits per day because of its material. There was all kinds of full version software downloads for free, school papers to download, and games among many other things. I also had an email list where I sent jokes out to people. However, I realized that I was doing something wrong. I eventually changed the emphasis of my site towards more Christian oriented material. Because of this, I established good relationships with Christians from all over the world with whom I was able to share my faith with and pray with. I don't know how I was led, but I eventually started an email list where I would write a daily Bible verse for people. This grew into the prayer chain which led to the formation of the devotional list which I have today.

Fellowship with Christians online was just what I needed. God used the internet as such a powerful tool to bring people together. I found people with whom I could pray with and for. This was great because I no longer felt alone in my faith. A lot of people started praying for my parents and for me. Those prayers were answered just last April of 1999. At that time I had decided on going to the University of Arizona for college here in Tucson. This was a disappointment for me because I applied for some prestigious medical programs at other places but did not get admittance. I wondered why God would not let me get into those programs especially since I had the majority of the qualifications. It turns out that God wanted me to stay in town for a reason.

My dad and I were just talking one night about school in general and I was praying hard and somehow the topic of church came up and he asked me if I wanted to go. It was such a shock and also such a relief to hear those words. He told me that everything that had happened in the last four years was not meant to hurt me. He said he shouldn't have separated my friend and I. He was just a concerned parent and did what he thought was best at the time. This was such wonderful news and I went to bed that night crying and thanking God for working miracles in my life and answering my prayers. The struggle was not completely over yet, however. Now that I was allowed to go to church, my parents wondered if I was going to lose my culture. I didn't want to go to the Sikh church anymore even if it meant pleasing my parents. I suppose I could have gone to make them feel good but the idea of doing something without real motivation and without true committment bothers me. I couldn't stand for that paradox and therefore, I went only to Christian churches.

How was finding christianity tantamount to losing my culture? Christianity isn't American by no means so I'm not becoming americanized here. And besides this, Christianity itself was not really what I was after. I was after a relationship with Jesus Christ. There are people in India who live very Indian lifestyles and yet also have faith in Christ. Some people may think that I'm forgetting who I am but I believe I am enhancing who I am. I am the first to explore something that's never been explored before. I've done something that was completely out of my comfort zone. Did I really need to do it? I could have just gone with the flow like the rest of my Sikh peers and relatives. I chose not to conform but rather to search for answers. I am still Indian and will be always proud of my heritage and my name. With this spirit, I look forward to the future generations of our family who will maintain our identity and at the same time, enhance our spirituality. Those are two very different things by the way.

Even after being able to go to church, I still felt alone. It seemed to me like my christian friends online were the only true christian friends I had in my life. I went to several churches to try them out. I never really found one where I felt a feeling of belonging. I prayed to be placed in a body of believers where I could not only feel safe but also find fellowship and solid guidance from the Bible and genuine people. I thought that I was asking for too much because I found no such place. There always seemed to be something missing. However, God did have a place in store for me.

Just since the beginning of this year, I've been going to a church called Sunrise Celebration Church. God introduced me to it through a friend and I would go each week with my friend and I got to know so many great people and found the worship, the message, the teaching, and the pastor to be wonderful. I found the belonging that I had so desperately seeked for a long time. That is why I chose to be baptized here. I'd been waiting to find a church to settle in before committing myself and getting baptized. God showed me the way and He also put it in my heart to proclaim once and for all my faith in Jesus Christ. That's exactly what I did today and although I did not share my testimony in as great detail as I wrote here, I did address a little message to my parents. I told them that I was sorry for hiding something that needed to be shouted from the rooftops. I believe it was this hiding which caused them the most pain since it led them to think that I was deceived by other people into following this faith instead of making the decision on my own. I told them that right next to my love for God was my love for them. Not a day goes by that I do not thank God for all the blessings in my life and among the very highest of those are my parents. Who I am today is a reflection of how I was brought up. My parents taught me to be a moral, responsible person, to love and serve other people, to have an open mind, and to strive towards my goals and reach for the stars. They laid the foundation for me to find Christ. How could I have found Christ if I wasn't already on a spiritual plane? My parents have contributed to my salvation just as much as any christian witness or friend has. They paved the path for me to find the truth. Sometimes it disgusts me when people say that my parents must be crude, wicked people for not allowing me to be a Christian during those tough four years. I don't regret a thing. I wouldn't trade anything thats happened for a different set of circumstances. This was the way God wanted it and I don't blame anyone for it. If I were to, I would have to blame God himself. The truth is that my parents loved me so much that they were concerned for my wellbeing. All they wanted was to make sure that their son didn't fall into bad hands. They could have just let me go and do what I wanted to. The fact that they chose to endure the pain and sorrow shows me that they loved me through this whole ordeal. That's as true as love gets. It's God's love reflecting through my parents. I am so thankful in ways that words cannot express for all they have done for me. I thank God for loving me through them.

Today I was baptized. I left my old sin and my old self behind as I emerged from the water. Just as importantly, I proclaimed my faith to believers and unbelievers alike. I choose now to follow Christ. It's a committment that I will most likely make over and over again over my lifetime. After all, God is continually transforming and changing us. I pray and I hope that through my life, many other lives will be impacted. All I can do is be an instrument of God and have my ears open to his calling. I can't show someone the way to the truth. That's something that every person has to do for themselves. God desires a personal relationship with every one of us and getting to know the truth means getting to know God on a firsthand, personal level like I had to do so many years ago.

In the secret in the quiet place, in the stillness you are there, in the secret in the quiet hour I wait only for you, because I want to know you more. I want to know you, I want to hear your voice. I want to know you more. I want to touch you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more...

God bless you,

Hardeep