NOT ENOUGH

Please define in simple words, the stance you wish for my spirit.
Lost in inescapable words, my power weakened,
reveal to me the will of my sorry existence.
In your magnitude, I become so small,
my inner core is never where you desire.
I am gardening my witness,
however my scarring is at the brink of explosion.
I shudder at your presence for I sense that my
investment can never measure up.
My tribulations are abundantly conquering,
the spark of love you wish to ignite.
You are irreplaceable, though I try to substitute
ambiguous realities that leave me alone.
I try to serenade you with voices of love,
the song seems so dry when I strain to sing it.
I break down, my congregation of song is not an
instantaneous joy for you.
Please forgive my inexusable standards,
my knees are sore from falling down in shame.
I crucify my attempts over and over again, yet your valiant
death for me, provides another chance.
When it is time to leave this world of universal failures,
I pray that my spark of love can be enough to light the fire,
continuously.